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The Sign: Hearing Aids
I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign…
What were they thinking?
“So we wrote ‘Hearing Aids’, what should we do with the rest of the space…”
Before they put the sign up, did nobody look at the sign and notice that repeating “AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS” in big block letters is probably not good advertisement? They might as well have written, “Come here and get AIDS! (Haha, just kidding, … Read entire article »
Filed under: The Sign
Brokeback Reasoning
For the boys, poker night is sports day. Events usually include, but are not limited to:
Best joker
Best bluffer
Best fluffer
Best belcher
Best farter
The most insightful, completely unverifiable commentary about professional sports
Chugging contest
Vomiting contest
Best “guess who I banged” story
Who has the loudest voice
Who can make the biggest raise
Who can make the biggest call with the shittiest cards
Best psychotic irrational woman story
Please note that poker is not an actual event on sports day; it’s just a … Read entire article »
How to Be a Better Listener: The Principles of Listening
Being a good listener is somewhat of an art. Bunny ears help, but barring that, we can distill it down to 4 principles.
Principle 1 — Silence
If you’re talking, how are you listening?
Don’t interrupt. If you don’t know a word the speaker used, or you were unable to hear part of a sentence because your religious neighbours keep yelling “Oh, God!”, then it’s fine to ask for a clarification.
Silence the chatter in your mind … Read entire article »
Filed under: Life, Relationships
The Sign: Abrasive
I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign…
“Honey, let’s go to the kitchen and rape my carrot…”
Filed under: The Sign
Always Give a Second Chance to Make a First Impression
Everybody knows that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. But we never hear the counterpart adage, which I think is more important:
Always give a second chance to make a first impression.
There are so many reasons that people may give off a bad first impression, including:
Nervousness
Shyness
Insecurity
Cultural differences
They just had a bad day
Unforeseen circumstances (e.g. Your partner’s parents are over for dinner, and the “toy box” falls out of … Read entire article »
Filed under: Life, Relationships
Women Seeking Nice Guys Finish Last
Hi, I’m just looking for a nice, normal guy who’s romantic and down to earth…
Blah fucking blah. No you’re not! Let me do you a favour here and set you straight.
History
You’ve dated a bunch of assholes, and now you’re single. Maybe you did date some nice guys, but you got bored of them, and now you’re single.
Wiring
The primitive part of your brain evolved to be attracted to jerks, while … Read entire article »
Filed under: Relationships
The Sign: Happy Time
I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign…
“Happy Time” lotion? Feel good sensation? Did nobody at Nivea notice this?
Read entire article »
Filed under: The Sign
The Muse is a Dominatrix
Photo courtesy Caveman 92223
Sometimes, I think the Muse is into chastity play and orgasm denial, seeing as how she loves to tease you with ideas. She’ll drop one in your head, just long enough for you to get a whiff of its sweet scent, then yank it back out of reach. You struggle to remember the idea, but the Muse is relentless. You remember where you were when it came, who you were with, … Read entire article »
Filed under: Creativity
What Kind of Smart Person Are You?
Labels can be a way of limiting ourselves to a category, but they can also be introspective. Remember that the labels we’ll look at aren’t discrete categories, but rather general areas of focus. Most smart people belong to some extent in all categories, but specialize in one or the other.
Scholars focus on research.
Academics do research as well, but balance their time with teaching.
Intellectuals step outside their area of expertise to find integrated … Read entire article »
Filed under: Intelligence
The Sign: Salon
I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign…
Guess what I’m doing on Saturday…
Filed under: The Sign