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Women Seeking Nice Guys Finish Last
Hi, I’m just looking for a nice, normal guy who’s romantic and down to earth…
Blah fucking blah. No you’re not! Let me do you a favour here and set you straight.
History
You’ve dated a bunch of assholes, and now you’re single. Maybe you did date some nice guys, but you got bored of them, and now you’re single.
Wiring
The primitive part of your brain evolved to be attracted to jerks, while your frontal cortex has been socially programmed to think you like nice guys. This is why you’re all confused, and brings us to…
You don’t know what you want
What is a “nice guy”? That doesn’t say anything about him. Is he quiet? Shy? Outspoken? Is he intellectual? A handy man? An athlete? A world traveler? Does his tongue rock your orchid till it wilts? Does he bang you like a racehorse or mindfuck you with his piercing gaze? You want somebody who will make you feel good, yet you don’t know yourself what makes you feel good.
But there is hope
Women who have moved beyond the “nice guy” phase are the ones who’ve discovered the secret. They weren’t looking for a nice guy; they were looking for themselves. They were brave enough to ask themselves those questions and answer them honestly. And it’s not always easy. The Self might be the hardest person to be honest with, because self-honesty is so raw and unadulterated — there’s absolutely nothing to hide behind.
These women have found themselves by focusing on themselves, following their passions, living their dreams. And they’ve emerged with a gleam in their eye, a hop in their step. No longer are they self-conscious, but rather Self-conscious. They no longer feel naked without being primped up, for they are complete as they are. But when they do seek to dazzle, their power is multiplied a thousandfold because the glitz is an expression of themselves, rather than a shield hiding their insecurity.
You want a nice guy? He’s already inside you.
Filed under: Relationships · Tags: culture, dating, evolutionary psychology, happiness, nice guy, Self