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Sex During Menstruation: Getting from “Ew” to “Yes, Please!”


When the circus is closed because the monkey has a nosebleed, don’t let it put a “cramp” in your sex life.  When life gives you lemons, make some bloody lemonade!

It’s My First Time, Again

Virginity can be lost by a thought. —St. Jerome

Virginity is an emotionally and sexually potent symbol.  When used for oppression, as it often was in Jerome’s time, it can be a terrible force.  But any powerful force can also be used for some downright naughty goodness.

Do you remember your first time?  Most people do, because it probably went something like this:

  • “So that’s what it looks like…”
  • “We’re naked…*giggle, giggle*”
  • “Is it…in?  Er…well, right idea, wrong hole.”
  • “I’m sure your parents won’t mind as long as we change the sheets.”
  • “Trust me, I saw it on the Discovery Channel.”
  • “Who are you, and why is my thong…inside you?”
  • “OOOOOOWWW, fuck you, you piece of shit!!!”
  • “Oh no…you didn’t…are you serious?”
  • “Look, I don’t mind if your roommate plays video games beside us, but that joystick ain’t for the Xbox.”

Whether you want to re-live a tender youthful moment, or hit the redo button a few dozen times, this little roleplay can be “loads” of fun for him and for her.

Me Love You Long Time

It’s true, you were a virgin until you met me
I was the first to make you hot and wetty-wetty
You tell your parents that we’re goin’ out
Never to the movies, just straight to my house
You said it yourself, you like it like I do
Put your lips on my dick, and suck my asshole too
I’m a freak in heat, a dog without warning
My appetite is sex, ’cause me so horny.  —2 Live Crew

Ragtime women are hornier than a piss drunk jackrabbit on viagra, eating olives, chocolate and oysters, stuck in a sealed box pumped full of pheromones, while being forced to watch Jizzy Jack Does Bushy Tails.  Nuff said.

Cramp On, Cramp Off

In Okinawa, all Miyagi know two thing: fish and karate. —Mr. Miyagi

Sore from your Dr. Jekyll’s inner Mrs. Psycho-WTF-bitch-from-Hell hammer throwing you by your balls?  Well there is a way to lick this creature.  (I mean that metaphorically, but if you’re up to it literally, mad props to ya bro.  I’ve been known to nibble on a bloody rare filet mignon from time to time, depending on the type of sauce it comes with.  If you’re up for it, and if she’s into it, this really beats water to wine hands down — you’ve turned sloppy joes into holy water.)

Orgasms (hers, you moron!) can relieve menstrual cramps and help end the menstruation sooner.  Plus, if she’s blissed out on orgasms, she’s less likely to bitch out on you.

Every Day of the Month

Slip, Slip, Slip and Slide

When it comes to lubes, it doesn’t get any more personal or natural than this.  And we all know how copious it can be — which is the recommended mode d’emploi anyways.

See Blood, Will Faint

If you or your partner are serious hemophobes, there’s still no need to despair.  Never underestimate the possibilites for outercourse!


Menstruation is often maligned and dreaded by both men and women, but it shouldn’t be!  A regularly menstruating woman is a healthy woman, rype with sexual and non-sexual energy.  With the right mindset and a little creativity, you could even end up looking forward to it!

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