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Always Give a Second Chance to Make a First Impression

First Impressions

Everybody knows that you never get a second chance to make a first impression.  But we never hear the counterpart adage, which I think is more important:

Always give a second chance to make a first impression.

There are so many reasons that people may give off a bad first impression, including:

  • Nervousness
  • Shyness
  • Insecurity
  • Cultural differences
  • They just had a bad day
  • Unforeseen circumstances (e.g. Your partner’s parents are over for dinner, and the “toy box” falls out of the closet when you go to hang up their jackets.)

We’ve all been in that situation where we inadvertently give a bad impression, and we get that sinking helpless feeling where we know, “If only they would give me a chance to know the real me.”  But we know that we’ve blown it, and it kills us.

The purpose of making a good first impression is that it helps us all get along with a good start.  So why not extend the same favour coming from the other end?  Not everything always goes right the first time.  Everybody knows this.  Sometimes, shit happens.  If we only get one shot at getting along, that’s a lot of potential lost friendships and meaningful relationships.

“You never get a second chance to make a first impression” gives a sense of judgment, and edginess.  We put so much pressure on ourselves and on others.  Contrast this with “Always give a second chance to make a first impression.”  The sense is of forgiveness, understanding, and humility.  It speaks to the wisdom of reserving judgment.

So when we come across somebody that may be rude, offensive, or prohibitively shy, let us remember that we are sometimes in their position, and extend them the graciousness of a second chance, just as we would appreciate them extending it upon us.

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9 Responses to "Always Give a Second Chance to Make a First Impression"

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  2. I agree that it isn’t fair to judge (reasoning) and being in a patriarchal, scientifically-minded society, that is what most people believe in -reasoning over feeling. But intuition, at least for me, is far more accurate and way too many times I’ve had the “feeling” that I shouldn’t pursue things with guys I’ve met, but because of societal-programming that “intuition isn’t reasonable” I instead gave the guy the benefit of the doubt and pursued things. Guess how they turned out? =^J

    1. I think you are right that society today is heading towards a sterile, mechanical existence, partly in response to the airiness of religious influence. On the other hand, I think relying purely on intuition is dangerous too. A sound approach to life will take into consideration both gut feelings and concrete reasoning.

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