Small Dogs: I Kick Them

This is Kerpal

The next time a small dog runs up to me all barking and growling and shit, I’m going to kick him in the face.  Up until now, I’ve restrained myself to be polite to the dog’s human, but that’s about to change.

Nature endowed us with 2 strategies to deal with confrontation: fight or flight.  If we judge that we can’t win the fight, we run.  If we can win the fight, we fight.  I think I can take a 5 pound mutt.  The only reason that yappy shitmonger acts all tough is because he knows I won’t hit him with their human around.  Or worse yet, he might actually think he really is that tough.  One day, he’s gonna be out in the street going all “puppy power” on someone and end up as Korean food.  Kicking the dog in the face would be a good wake up call for him, for his own sake.

Humane Treatment

If the dog came up to me all cheerful and friendly and licking my face, I’d be glad to share my food with him.  Heck, I don’t even mind if he humps my leg.  But if he comes down on me like all in my face and shit and we’ve never even met, I’ll give him a piece of my mind.  To a large extent, that’s how I treat humans — even the bit about the leg humping.  So you can’t say I’m being inhumane, because that’s the epitome of humane treatment.